Patricia C. Upton

For the Upton family the Greatest Generation has passed into memory. Patricia Culhane Upton, beloved mother, grandmother and aunt, died on August 14th, at the age of 96. 

She fully embraced life but, as all who enjoy a long life, she endured its penance. Long gone are her parents, her six brothers, four sisters, their spouses, and several of their children. Her beloved husband, Clark, passed in 2020, his only brother soon after. She also grieved the loss of so many of her friends. Friends whose children then bestowed their care and support to her. 

As the middle child of eleven, her easy nature formed naturally and by necessity. She exemplified the essential and undeniable trait of a generation that lived its values. Sacrifice. And its companion, discipline. She lived her values. 

She was born in Springfield, Minnesota in 1930. A little town near the state line and the farm where her mother was raised in Flandreau. Circumstances that would stay with her the rest of her life. They moved to Spokane on the first anniversary of Pearl Harbor on a chaotic train trip overflowing with uniformed young men. At 12 years old she arrived at her new home without a single possession. Decades later a sister-in-law discovered that she had never had a doll. She gave her one and had made clothes for it. My mother cried. 

In 1950, despite being a straight A student already supporting herself, she did not hesitate when asked to leave college and work to sustain a household of five younger siblings, an ill father, and an exhausted mother. The first thing she did was purchase a new furnace to finally warm their old house. Her father passed not many years after but this writer believes that her grandmother’s additional 45 years of life was made possible by her daughter's willingness to step in at that crucial moment. Although she regretted not having a college degree, she explained, my family needed me. It had to be done. 

She became the first woman to work in a non-secretarial position at what was then called Pacific Bell. As their public relations spokesperson she made countless presentations across the Spokane Valley. Shortly thereafter her employer nominated her for something she was ideally suited to perform. She won and was crowned Miss Spokane on New Years 1954. The evening would be important for another reason. On a blind date that night she met her future husband, Clark Upton. This writer is quite sure it was not a blind date for Mr. Upton. 

They married in 1955. There was no concept of maternity leave so, despite out earning her husband, she left Pacific Bell soon after she became pregnant with their first child, born in 1957. And by the time their first son was born in 1959, she had convinced her husband to leave Royal Typewriter and work for a little company she was impressed with … IBM. Their second son was born in Spokane in 1960, just before Mr. Upton was transferred to the Seattle office. They moved to Bellevue in 1961 and joined St. Louise Parish where the oldest three children attended the parochial school. Their family was not complete until they welcomed a baby sister in 1965. During that time she joined the Lake Washington Singers. Their dad took the kids to their performances. 

When her husband was promoted to a new division they discovered it was located in a strange new place, called an office park. The Denver Technological Center. The family moved into the Village on the Lake, a spanking new treeless neighborhood overlooking a small lake. They knew it was a small lake because people from Washington know what regular lakes look like. All their children graduated from the Cherry Creek Schools a block from their home. Patricia and Clark Upton lived on Chenango Avenue for almost 40 years until moving to Stoney Brook in 2007. 

During those happy years she participated in almost everything. She was active at Risen Christ Church and was an Arapahoe County election judge from 1970 to 2007. She joined a bowling league, played bridge and participated in book clubs. She was active in the James Joyce Society, and celebrated Bloomsday for many years. The highbrow Joyce Society is not for the faint of heart (or mind) but she proudly read the scandalous Molly's Soliloquy on the radio. She was vigilant about keeping up with the news but scorned most television as ridiculous. She watched Masterpeace Theater and read constantly. She gathered things every week to give to the Disabled Veterans. She became a Birder and learned to identify countless species. When her youngest child reached high school she went to work at Macy's and made even more friends there and at International Villa in the new Marina Square Complex. 

But always, always, she looked after her children and husband. She showered her family with love and affection. But without her gravitas and the profound persuasion of her example, her children would not be who they became. Their father both dominated and challenged them to be unafraid of life, to take bold risks, to live up to their potential. But she challenged them to be good. To be fair, honest, and kind. To help others. To live up to their potential. It would be an understatement to say she had a positive attitude. Boy did she nail that one. In our stairway she posted the famous quote about the essential quality of persistence. After making me read it she said, life can be hard. Never give up. 

She took the high road in life and wrought her privations into strength of character that was unassailable. She left no task unfinished or commitment unfulfilled. Whether it was dips in fortunes or emotions, her steady hand provided lifelong ballast in the family ship. The main reason storms passed by our family decade after decade.

But she also loved to laugh and was a naturally happy woman. She knew happiness required intention and the willingness to embrace the joy in life. The day before she died, in her last words to her oldest daughter she whispered “had a wonderful life”. Later that day she uttered her last sentence as her youngest daughter held her hand. Her daughter played the lovely Irish lament, Oh Danny Boy. Patricia Culhane Upton suddenly and clearly declared “Life is Worth Living!” 

The perfect last words for someone who had embodied that sentiment throughout her life. 

Her passing allows the canvas of her long life to unfurl. It reveals a masterpiece of goodwill. Our family's task then, is to be worthy to join her some distant day. A reunion gratefully delayed so that her gifts can be fully expressed in a new generation, and to her lone granddaughter who, in reaching for the extraordinary, is fulfilling dreams deferred so long ago. 

What is left but to distill my grief into the place she held so dearly in my heart. Now I understand that she will reside in my memories and the faces of my children. I shall continue the journey and carry her with me. The impossibly lovely face of my beautiful mother. 

She is survived by her children, Suzanne of Lake Oswego, Jim (and Amy) of Centennial, Dan (and Min) of Carlsbad, and Maureen (her guardian angel) of Evergreen. She is also survived by her grandchildren, Dylan and Cam Upton, Nathan and Alexander Upton, Michael and Morgan Foote, and Kevin Upton. She recently welcomed her first great grandchild, Rhone Upton. 

As the Lord keeps a place at his table, his faithful servant can finally rejoin the countless loved ones who have gone before. We mourn our loss but release her to them. Her family thanks all the friends and neighbors who loved and supported her over a half a century in Greenwood Village.